I was loitering at school in East Sussex having just finished my last A level exams when Dad called.“So I’ve managed to wangle a couple of tickets for Glasto for you. They’re at Stephen’s farm next to Worthy, so you just need to get yourself there. Thought you could sell one of them to fund the weekend.” It was already 2pm on the Friday, how the hell was I going to get to Pilton? Asked a few pals but most still had exams left or couldn’t be arsed (Mark Aldred). I got zero money to my name, barely a bank account but the shining star that was/ is Charlotte Nettleton loaned me her cash card ... madness. So I was going on a solo mission. Knew a few folks already on site, perhaps I’d bump into them? Easy.
Had to get to Paddington before the last train to Castle Cary or I’d be screwed so rushed back to my room and threw together an essentials bundle of sleeping bag, baccy, bin liners and, for some reason, slippers. That’s it. Sweaty train stress all the way, tube from Victoria to Paddington and get to the platform just as last train pulls away from the station. I’m pelting it down the platform trying to grab a door but alas. Nope.5 proper diamond geezers in their 20s also panting having missed the ride, one turns to me: “oi bruv. You know how to get there?”. Me: “er... prob have to go to Bath and get a cab”. Him: “alright sweet we’re coming with you”.Me: “er.. ok?”Next train leaves in 5 mins, everyone piles to other platform and gets on. As it pulls away, I realise I still have no money, just a bank card. And no ticket. “Don’t worry pal we ain’t got tickets either” Head to smoking carriage and get a table seat. New BFFs then proceed to pull out some scales on the table. And some small baggies. And a large rock which they proceed to chip at with a blade, weigh and bag up. One of them skins up and sprinkles said powder into the joint. He sparks up. On the train.“Inspector!” Comes the cry from the end of the carriage, everything gets packed away and we pile into a toilet. Knock on the door. Bang on the door. The air is filled with acrid coke spliff smoke. We sit it out for 10 mins, until zero oxygen remains. We pile out and rush to the next toilet back from direction the inspector came. After dodging him for an hour it feels the net is closing in when suddenly one of the geezer gang comes back from a reccy: “all the commuters are asleep in first class. Left their tickets on the table.” We get off the next stop and the police are there to meet the train. We show them our valid first class tickets and we’re away.
Apparently money is no issue for my crew and we get a cab for £100 to glasto. “I’ve got to find a farm in the dark for my ticket” gets met with “nah man you can jump the fence with us. Get a pass out tomorrow and sell both your tickets at the gate”.Me: “er.... ok”.We arrive near Worthy Farm in the dark and Barry goes “drop us here, mate. There was a whole here last year I’m sure”. Next we’re scrabbling in the dark at the verge of the rd looking for a gap. Find a gap. We all tumble into a ditch of brambles with a chicken wire fence above us. Climb fence and drop onto flat ground... a moat with a new MASSIVE fence in front us. Wtf. Then we hear an engine revving and before we know it we’re getting chased by a pick up and some pretty tasty security shouting and waving baseball bats for extra vibes.
One of the geez gang gets nabbed and the car stops to collar him. Scratched to shit from the brambles and panting like a mutt the sight of a rope ladder leading up to a carpet draped over the barb wire on top. Someone’s left their gear, praise be. We manage to get over just as the pick up pulls up.
I’m last over and my dealer buddies have already done a runner into the dark. The sea of tents and smokey twinkles extend as far as the eye can see. I wander about a while with my sleeping bag bundle, wondering what made me think there was a cats arse chance of finding a pal amongst the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of people. After a couple of hours I find a gap between some tents, stick my bin liners down and get into the sleeping bag. What a shit idea.
I wake up soon after dawn to someone taking a piss by my head. Sit up and look about me. Just tents and randoms. No dosh. No food or water. Balls. Then I see them. My bezzies Tanith Slay and Sadie Cook right there on the path 50 feet away. The hugs, the joy. The absolute WIN!Ended up finding Dave Lewis Lloyd and Jessica Mason-Little too. And I bumped into the geezers again who treated me to some freebie delights. Went and found my free tickets and sold them for a ton. Goldie topped it that year. Immense.On the last night Tan made me leave my Lugz boots outside the tent, so smelly were they. Some bastard nicked them.
